Functional communication training: teaching a child to ask instead of hit or scream

Much of the behaviour that worries families is, underneath, a form of communication. A child who cannot yet say 'this is too hard' may scream. A child who cannot say 'my turn' may grab or hit. Functional communication training takes that seriously. Instead of only trying to stop the behaviour, it teaches the child a clearer, safer way to say the same thing.

The word 'functional' matters. The new way of communicating must serve the same function as the behaviour. If an assessment shows a child hits to escape a noisy room, teaching them to say 'hello' does not help; teaching them to ask to leave does. That is why FCT almost always follows a functional behaviour assessment, and why it is designed by the behaviour analyst.

At its best, FCT treats a child's behaviour as meaningful and gives them more power to communicate, not less. A good programme treats every way a child communicates, including 'no' and 'stop', as worth listening to.

The details are set by the behaviour analyst for each child, but most FCT follows the same broad sequence.

1. Find the function. The assessment shows what the behaviour is getting the child: attention, a break, an object or activity, or relief from something uncomfortable.
2. Choose the request. Pick a way of asking that the child can do easily, right now, without much effort.
3. Teach it when the child is calm. Practise in short, easy moments, well before the behaviour would usually start, with help from the adult.
4. Honour it every time, straight away. In the early weeks, each request gets exactly what it asks for, quickly.
5. Fade the help, so the child asks on their own.
6. Build tolerance gradually. Once asking is reliable, the analyst slowly introduces short waits, 'first this, then that' and the occasional 'not now, later', always with something the child can do while waiting.
7. Spread it everywhere. Teach the same request with different adults and in different places: home, school, the grandparents' house, the van.

The order matters. Teaching a child to wait before they have learned that asking works is like asking someone to trust a promise that has never been kept.

The best way of asking is the one your child can manage easily and that the people around them will understand. It does not have to be spoken. Choose it with the behaviour analyst and your child's speech-language pathologist, who can advise on communication as a whole, including augmentative and alternative communication (AAC).

In a bilingual home, think about which language the request is in. A spoken word should be the one the child hears most. A picture card can carry the word in English and in the home language, so a grandparent and the class teacher can both read it. Some families worry that pictures or a device will stop a child from talking; that is a good question to discuss openly with your speech-language pathologist, who knows your child's communication best.

These examples are simplified. In a real programme, each would come from an assessment and be written into the child's behaviour plan by the analyst.

• A girl who pushes her notebook away and screams at homework time, to escape writing, learns to hand over a 'break' card. At first every card gets a short break; later the analyst builds in 'two more lines, then break'.
• A boy who hits his sister to get the tablet learns to say or sign 'my turn', with a visual timer showing when his turn comes.
• A child who pulls at his mother's dupatta and throws things when she is on a call learns to tap her arm. She pauses, says a quick word to him and finishes the call; at other times she gives him plenty of attention before he has to ask.
• A child who bites his hand when the pressure cooker whistles learns to point to a 'too loud' symbol to leave the kitchen, while the occupational therapist advises on the noise itself.
• A girl who throws her tiffin box at school when she has had enough learns to say or show 'finished', and the shadow teacher helps her put the box away.

The most common reason FCT stalls is simple: asking does not work as well as the old behaviour. If a child hands over a break card and is told 'in a minute', but screaming gets an immediate break, the child will go back to screaming. In the early stage, the request has to win, every time, with every adult.

That can feel uncomfortable, especially for grandparents or teachers who worry the child is getting their own way. It helps to explain that this is a temporary teaching stage. Once the request is reliable, the analyst will slowly teach waiting and accepting 'not now', using tools such as first-then boards and timers, and always offering something the child can do in the meantime.

Not every request can be granted forever, and real life includes 'no'. But a child's own 'no' and 'stop' deserve respect too. When a child refuses or pushes an activity away, a good programme treats that as communication and a sign to adjust. The field calls this willingness to take part assent, and at the time of writing (October 2026) the BACB's Ethics Code requires analysts to obtain 'assent from clients when applicable' (Standard 2.11).

A request only works if the people around the child recognise it. In many Indian homes that is a long list: parents, grandparents, an aunt who visits often, the helper, the driver, the tuition teacher, the class teacher and a shadow teacher. If the helper does not know that a tap on the arm means 'I need you', the child's best attempt to communicate is missed, and the old behaviour comes back.

Write a one-page note: the request, what it looks like, what it means and what the adult should do. Add a photo of the card or sign. Put a copy on the fridge and one in the school bag, and ask the analyst to go through it with whoever spends the most time with your child. With the school's agreement, the class teacher and shadow teacher should use exactly the same card and words.

Skills learned in one place often do not appear in another without planning. The analyst should plan for this from the start, teaching the request with different adults, in different rooms and on different days, including festival days, visits to relatives and the days when the routine falls apart.

Progress usually shows as more requests and fewer episodes of the old behaviour, though rarely in a straight line. The behaviour may return on a tired, unwell or overwhelming day, and there may be a short period when it gets worse before it improves, a pattern known as an extinction burst.

Ask the analyst to show you the data: how often your child is asking, how often the behaviour is happening, and how both have changed. If requests are being missed at school, if the chosen form is too hard for your child, or if the behaviour is not reducing, the plan needs a review, and the function may need checking again.

Some situations should not wait for the next review. If your child is hurting themselves, if aggression is increasing, or if someone has been injured, contact the analyst and your child's doctor quickly.

Special Minds provides ABA therapy at home, at school, online with parent coaching and at a centre, with every programme designed and supervised by a BCBA. When a request needs to be honoured in the classroom too, a vetted shadow teacher can carry the plan into school under the analyst's direction, with the school's agreement. The guide to ABA therapy in India explains how to start.